Humour

Sep 19, 2009

Anyone want a SIBOS t-shirt?

Only an idiot would wear a shirt that had this on the front to a banker's ball: and that's exactly, apparently, what one idiot did on Thursday night at the SunGard end of show SIBOS party. The Finanser has now found the source of the idiot's t-shirt and is happy to provide UK (£50bn), US…

Sep 17, 2009

Guy Kawasaki: don’t believe the bozos

The final keynote here in Hong Kong was from Guy Kawasaki, founding partner of garage technology ventures, co-founder alltop.com, original visionary partner of Steve Jobs at Apple and all round good Guy. Here’s a summary of his speech: When I was first at Apple, we had two divisions – Apple II and the new, yet…

Sep 14, 2009

Argh, the typhoon got me …

I think SIBOS is jinxed. In 2001, 9/11 happened just as we all planned to go to Singapore and the show was cancelled. In 2008, Lehman Brothers collapsed the day the show started and so we spent the week trying to get over it (what's new, some said). In 2009, the hand of God intervenes…

Sep 12, 2009

Cockney cash machines

As mentioned the other day, the ATM has just turned forty years old, but I missed this item and was sent it by a friend. Apparently, one entrepeneurial firm is customising their ATMs to suit local lingo by launching the world's first Cockney cash machine, or should that be sausage and mash machine: Brummie, Geordie…

Sep 12, 2009

Cockney cash machines

Sep 11, 2009

No pinstripes, dirty pants and lipstick

During the credit crisis, we have all tightened our belts a bit and swallowed our pride. I know myself that I actually get on the Tube now and sit next to members of the general populous, and some banking friends of mine tell me they have even caught a bus! But if you really want…

Sep 10, 2009

Please go away, we don’t want your business

No, it’s not a write-up about RyanAir (although the title would fit), it’s a write-up about the Tampa branch of Bank of America and a bank in Guangdong, China. What can these two banks have in common? Jobsworths. Jobsworths are those little sticklers for details who enjoy their moment of control over the world. They…

Sep 10, 2009

Please go away, we don’t want your business

Sep 8, 2009

City of London burns down, costing $100 billion

Whilst I was away, no-one seemed to bother reporting that the City of London had burnt down: Maybe that's because it didn't … but it did 343 years ago in 1666. The Great Fire of London raged from September 2nd to 5th and destroyed most of the City. According to insurers Royal & Sun Alliance…

Sep 4, 2009

Holiday Humour #10: the Native American

A native American Chief goes to the bank for a loan. As the banker gets out the loan application, he asks the Chief: "What are you going to do with the money?" "Take jewellery to city and sell it," says the Chief. "And what have you got for collateral?" asks the banker. "Don't know collateral",…