Happy holidaze and all that …

As this is the last day in the office for many of you until January 5th, I thought I
would share some Christmas wishes with y’all.

The biggest change I’ve
noticed this year is that I’m getting lots and lots of ecards.

They
normally arrive wth a message like:

“We aren’t sending Christmas Cards
this year because we want to SAVE THE PLANET which is being DEVASTATED by evil
perpetrators of carbon and ozone stuff.

"Instead, we have donated the money we
would have spent on your card and postage, and given it to a village in
Beronistikhan who desperately needed a helicopter to get access to their nearest
bank branch.

"Meantime, we, the kids and ma and pa, are flying off to the Virgin
Islands to sail my yacht through Christmas.”

You know the sort of thing.

Lazy b*****s.

Anyway, here are a few I enjoyed.

One from a
banking friend: “I am not wishing any of my friends a Happy New Year as I do not
think it is going to be one, so Merry Christmas.”

OK, that one aside, the rest are pretty cheery.

Here's one from the EBA, who run clearing systems for SEPA (the Single Euro Payments Area):

That's obviously meant to represent the big mountain the SEPA folks have to climb next year.

Then there's this one from the Professional Risk Managers' International Association (PRMIA):

"Guiding you through today's economic challenges".

"Guiding you through today's economic challenges"?

"Guiding you through today's economic challenges"?

Didn't you create those challenges you stoopid ... sorry, shouldn't blame the risk managers for this year's crisis should we?  After all, it's all the fault of the investment bankers with their CDO, SIV, CDS and other completely incomprehensible bolsch.

Speaking of investment bankers, here's my card from Turquoise, the new electronic pan-European equities exchange:

Ahhhhh ... a nice picture of the City of London. 

And what's that I see? 

Is it snowflakes ... or the general population spitting at the buildings as they fume in credit crisis blues?

Naahhhhh ... I guess my banking friend was right upfront.  Let's not celebrate, but let's instead gather round a warm fire with Tiny Tim and sing happy songs, such as this one which goes to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town":

A one, a two, a one two, three, four (billion)

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry;
You'd better keep cash,
I'm telling you why:
Credit crunch is coming to town.

It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice,
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise,
Credit crunch is coming to town.

It's taken all your equities,
It's trashed all your bonds,
It's completely wiped out your savings,
So your better keep cash for goodness sake, hey.

You'd better watch out,
You'd better not cry;
You'd better keep cash,
I'm telling you why:
Credit crunch is coming to town.

Investments are confusing,
Financiers are so vague;
Dealers want the shirt off your back,
So you better keep out for goodness sake, hey.

Merry Christmas ...

AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!