8 million people at risk from new business disease

I got an email from BNET, the management website, with the title "8 Million Business People at Risk from Dreaded New Ailment", which made me open it, as you have here.  The actual news item was all about people who "work
at a company where Blackberries are standard perks? Never mind the
tired debate over whether or not your Crackberry makes you more
productive. The real questions is, are you at risk from 'Blackberry
Thumb'?"

Next to this was "Management wisdom from Despair".  It
made me click it open to find a fascinating report on how to manage a
business from leading satiritist Dr. A L Kersten, author of "The Art of
Demotivation".

There's a whole load of videos on the BNET site
from Dr. Kersten.  In a series of videos, he offers sage advice for the
pessimists, underachievers, and chronically unsuccessful workers of the
world including:

Problem Employees? It's Not You, It's Them
"Dr.
Kersten shows how to manage three types of problem employees. Whether
you're dealing with the 'perpetually offended employee', the 'aggrieved
superstar', or the 'egomaniac', the answer is simple: they need to be
grateful for what they have."

Battle Bureaucracy with Fake Crises and Caffeine
"If
your company is at all established and successful, it's probably
already become a bloated, uninspiring workplace. Here's how to take
back your company by overcaffeinating your workers, limiting their
contact with the outside world, and teaching them that the need for
'fairness' is petty and weak."

Why Workplace Communication is Overrated
"The
source of workplace conflict is often misdiagnosed. What's seen as a
simple 'misunderstanding' or 'failure to communicate' really runs much
deeper: Your coworkers don't actually like you. Dr. Kersten helps
clarify the situation by translating what they're really saying."

Get More from Your Compensation Plan
"Dr.
Kersten shows how to improve your compensation plan by applying
radically different pay philosophies for different types of workers."

The Benefits of a Demotivated Workforce
"Do
your employees have low self-esteem and feelings of powerlessness? Do
they believe they are victims of a hostile fate? Here's why these
attitudes can actually benefit the bottom line."

An Honest Org Chart
"What
does the traditional organizational chart really tell us? Nada, says
Dr. Kersten. Here he explains how a 'salary-sensitive' chart can do
more to show employees their true value."

 

My favourite item, found as a result of going to Kersten's website www.despair.com, is the build your own demotivational calendar for 2008.  Go on, make someone's year.